Moving off...

Will be driving to chapel hill tomorrow after we finish packing up. It is about a 3 hours drive away but since some of the others wants to stop over at the factory outlets out at smithsfield along the way, the trip will take considerably longer time. I am SO not looking forward to it. Ah, well, i guess when in rome...

Will be staying at the sheraton's hotel in chapel hill and will keep the car till sunday. It seems we will not need the car during the training in chapel hill since it will be close by. I wonder if there will be free internet service. I sure hope so. Or else i will have to watch tv the whole night! *chuckles*

Day 8

End of Wilmington TEACCH training on PEP-R. It was a half-day training where we went through some social group ideas and had some questions and answers. We also presented everyone in the centre with gifts and the slideshow we did of them which we cut onto a CD. They were so tickled by all the photos and thought bubbles we created for them. After that, they brought us out to lunch at the Dockside which is next to the marina. The weather was great; nice and sunny and we really enjoyed chatting with everyone on any topics other than work. In fact politics was a hot topic at our table. It was a nice farewell, though i wasn't overly affected like some others in the group. Not that i am unfeeling, just that i am quite used to saying "goodbyes". I guess i am rational to a point of being heartless sometimes. Ah well. Only on business trips. :D

Later i drove the rest of my colleagues to the Dollar shop (well, self-explanatory isn't it?) down at Carolina Beach road. It is quite amazing how much everyone else trust me with driving and finding my way around now, so much so that no one really bothers if we were lost (we weren't). I guess having a good spatial and visual memory helps, as well as a certain amount of logical thinking. And to answer the doubts of my 'amusing' colleague, i can only say, i rather it be me getting others lost than trust someone less capable on the job. And that's not to sound cocky. I am just better at this kind of thing than the rest of them on the trip.

Now, if it was shopping though, i would have failed miserably. The rest wanted to go to wal-mart again and i truly, truly have no way of occupying myself there. So while others went around merrily buying tons of things for themselves, all i could do was amuse myself taking senseless pictures around the place. I guess it is only frivolous shopping which i am helpless in because while at the dollar shop, i bought plenty of things for the school, in terms of toys and materials which we would find useful (it is also very cheap there). Already, everyone is sort of looking at me funny, and probably thought i am more 'male' than 'female' in that aspect.

Anyway, think i will rest abit before the rest are ready to go for dinner. I think it is seafood again. Heard that things in chapel hill are more expensive. Hmm maybe that's why all the urgency to shop now. Shrug. It is quite mind-boggling.

Oh ya. All you folks who got shopping list for me? Don't be surprise if i don't get anything. I just realized, with all those toys i just got, my luggage might be a little be full for the moment. Not to mention that next week, we will need some space for books and materials at the next training.

Sorry... :)

View Photos

For he's a jolly good fellow...

Today is the day of my youngest brother's graduation ceremony in Canberra. My whole family is over there now celebrating this happy day for him. I think my parents are probably the happiest of the lot.  As i recall, i wasn't there for my second brother's convocation either because i was still in London at that time. I feel bad not being there especially since both of them have been at mine. What pathetic timing. If it wasn't for this training, i would have taken leave for a couple of days to join all of them. Sigh.

Well done bro.
You made it... finally. *wink*

Day 7

Almost halfway through my trip and i am quite ready to fly home, if for nothing else but my dearest and my friends back home. Perhaps i am older now and becoming more nostalgic or maybe just more mellow and wants to seek some comfort and security in what i know. So much for wanting to be an intrepid explorer when i was younger. Guess i am a homebody at heart no matter how independent i want to be.

Today passed on with a blur and i don't think that there is much for me to write about. I guess it is boring enough just writing about work for the past few days. The only highlight today was joining in the social group with 4 high-functioning pre-schoolers at the centre. Very cute. Reminds me of some of my boys back home. Pity we couldn't take pictures due to confidentiality issues of the children but we understand. Had a late dinner where we order in take out from a grill steak place because we were putting together a slideshow CD for our trainers in memory of our visit here as tomorrow would be our last day for training in Wilmington. It is a rather cute CD full of photos we had taken in the last few days and we also included cutesy little dialogue and thought bubbles. We also wrapped the gifts we bought for them and will present all these to them tomorrow when they bring us out to lunch.

Came back to my room at 10pm dead tired.

Guess i will have to skip the upload of Day 7's photos for another day. Doubt i would put up the link since it is really boring work stuff as usual...

*stretches*

Postscript: Okie... so i uploaded the pictures afterall but only SOME of them

Day 6

A most 'successful' i.e. enjoyable day!

We started today's training with a live assessment of a ASD child at the centre in the morning. It was a wonderful learning experience where the trainer ran us through how she prepared the room for the assessment beforehand (structure! structure! structure!) and then watching her assess the child after that. It was amazing how much clinical skills were needed during the assessment; when to push the child, when to ilicit responses, when to back off, what would motivate the child and how much more can the child accomplish. The whole session took around 2 1/2 hours and after that we break for lunch before returning to score the assessment on the protocol. There were some discussion about some of the scores but in general, the discussion helped tremendously in my understanding of the tool and even how to clinically assess a child. It was great to be able to learn the whole process and see how the 'experts' synthesized all the information and using it for the programming afterwards.

During the discussion about the possible educational programming and goals, again a feeling of tremendous energy which really made me sit up and want to plunge myself right into all the excitement of handling the information we have gathered during the assessment. E and me were so active and excited that i worry afterwards if we have been too forward in our enthusiasium but i think it was okie. The rest of the colleagues were OK too and i think the tension has defused at least for now. It was a tiring session because the discussion was so energetic as we came up with ideas after ideas on what can help the child learn better.

The next fantastic thing which happened was that we had a chance to join a Adult Supper Club which organize an outing once a month for high-functioning  autistic (HFA) adults. It is amazing how independent some of them are; they have jobs, some stayed on their own and even drives a jeep! I am so privileged to have met the 7 men and 1 woman who came today for the dinner and outing to Barnes & Noble (bookstore) at the Mayfaire. I never had a chance to interact with adults with autism before and it is an eye-opening and humbling experience. It is unmistakenable that these adults are odd in some ways and have their little eccentricities but they are so terribly sincere and sweet in the ways they interacted with us. And so giving as well... I never felt so touched in my life and to see the trainers organizing such fun activities and to watch how they interact with the HFA adults were one of the best experiences in my life. It is not only the trainers but the general community is so accepting of people with disabilities! We were at the restuarant and no one gave us funny looks and the waiters treated everyone with respect and such patience and care. We had strangers smiling and offering to help us take photos and it just felt so good and comfortable. It was... just so amazing that words can hardly describe how i feel.

It may be that these HFAs have some problems with social interaction and a degree of handicap in communcation but it didn't really matter because people around them were so understanding. I think everyone enjoyed themselves tremendously so much so that despite most of them having to return back to the clinic (where some parents were waiting to pick them up after the outing), one guy stayed with us and wanted to join us (though he did not express it) after that. He was one of the most shy person in the group but also the most independent. He works a in a newspaper writing sports statistics and drives a car on his own. He is going to finish his undergraduate studies in computers in the local community college and has a GPA of 3.5. He was really sweet and understood all our jokes. He has a great laugh and when we were leaving, he gave us each a hug, something that was so spontaneously and genuine, and so un-like a person with autism. I think i nearly cried.

It was a truly unbelievable day for me. I know it didn't sound like much but i guess you have to know these persons to know how amazing it is. I only hope that singapore could have been as accepting of our children in school to give them a chance to grow up to be like these adults. Perhaps, one day, it will be possible.

28/07/04  10.21pm

View Photos (Work! Work! Work! Perhaps a little play..)

Nights

The nights in Wilmington has been quite calm and cloudless in the last two days. It is a picture of serenity outside my hotel window where everything is still and the moon grazing on the sporodic buildings around here. There are plenty of street lamps but no sign of any traffic, just silent signboards of various fast food in their bright distinct colours that immediately draws your attention.

Peaceful.

Strange. Given the same thing last night, i probably wouldn't have felt that way.
I guess conflict resolution is always nice when the day draws to a close.

Sleep well everyone.

D&D is on the way...

Heard that the posters are up and are quite attention-grabbing all thanks to my beloved for helping with the design and printing it out free for me. I am so glad! I trust the colleagues that i entrusted the job to to do a good job in the best of their abilities. Anyway, i am not worried at all, just abit hard-press for time when i returned to finish the other parts of the programming. Very exciting!! I can imagine i will be like a headless fly for a bit once i return but hey! I don't mind!

A sense of calm

Tonight's discussion was more of a breakthrough!
Finally, the others understood where E and me were coming from though they did not acknowledged that they have changed their minds. We could tell that their views and feedback today has changed greatly. I am not able to go say "I told you so" and i guess i expected that they have totally ignored the fact that these points were what we have been saying all the time.

Anyway, seems like it may be possible to "work as a team" now that our directions are aligned again. All thanks to the trainers for making it so much clearer, not just for us but also for the "misguided" ones!

Domo.. arigato

Thank you for the "domo" mms.. really made my day when i got it halfway through the training. Just want to let you know that everything is okie and that i will be home soon.

Miss me okie?

x

Day 5

Another day of sunshine and blue skies though we could not enjoy much of it because of the training and by the time we were done, we were generally tuckered out. "Causalty" rate amongst us are pretty high with two colleagues down with coughing and one who has a swollen gum due to heaty food and not enough sleep. I am still alright though, seems like my mom's insistence of me taking omega 3 and cod liver capsule every morning helped quite a bit. Even my morning sinus problem seems to have stopped. But nonetheless, i am still pretty tired. Not only physically, but mentally exhausted as well.

I started today pretty subdued and was still quite troubled after what happened yesterday. Didn't sleep very well either, in fact, had a dream of the person who 'attacked' us last evening. Not a happy dream, i tell you. Actually E didn't quite sleep either. Guess what happened really bugged us a great deal. It was apparent we would get no help from the HOD as well. Breakfast was a quiet affair and there was definitely some underlying tension with me and that person. I guess having two opinionated persons on the same trip who don't see eye to eye is a major pain in the ass. Anyway, at the training, on a few occasions when i asked the trainers some questions, she would disagree and distort my questions, which of course i then had to clarify again. It is horrible always trying to prove to others when they keep thinking you are wrong and naive. Thankfully, more often than not, she was the one who got the concepts off tangent. It didn't helped then that she made some snide remarks about how important it is to "work in a team" during lunch to the trainers just as i finished making some clarification on today's training.

My 'amusing' colleague would be please to know that i kept a straight face throughout (i really tried! if i couldn't i will look the other way). It has also occurred to me what the 3 of them were, what i observed, having difficulties understanding the tool, was because they had started using it the wrong way (without guidance) and fomulated some notions (not entirely accurate) of the tool. It was hard trying to undo or disconstruct the platform they have made for themselves and in some ways, they were also not quite aware that the platform was inaccurate, while it was easier for me and E to understand because we are getting the first hand true picture from the expert without preconceive expectations and notions.

The sad thing is, while today's training really made the whole picture clearer for me and E, the others do not quite see it that way and i know we are still going to disagree. However, i am quite tired and doesn't see how i am going to win this battle and 'work as a team' with them. It is also possible that we may have to embark on a different route from them in our different school. I don't know. Hopefully it didn't have to be that way. Perhaps who is right can only be proved in time. Yet, i can feel it in my guts that my impression of the tool cannot really be too far off and there are examples to back it up. Or perhaps it is just that i do not understand THEM and what they really mean...

It is only day 5. I guess there may be still hope.

27/07/04    5.40pm

View Photos (more work photos... mainly example of tasks)

Thank you!

To my 'amusing' colleague:

Thanks for reminding me what i have to do with those people at work. It really helped when you pull me back to reality and what i ought to do realistically, as well as understanding what i am going through...

If i haven't spoken to you online.. i believe i would wake up in the morning still frustrated with not knowing what to do.

At least i know now.

:)

Attacked...

Just came back from dinner after a rather heated discussion with my colleagues from "the other side". I already knew there were some differences in our perception of the assessment tool but what i did not anticipate was that E and me would be 'attacked' the minute we stepped into their room. That's why i don't like some of the people on 'the other side' because while they professed to be 'not personal' about things and have the need to seek clarification, they also immediately make assumptions about us (E and me). The thing is, before we had the discussion, E and me actually shared a little with HOD about how we felt that the immediate needs of the teachers is to understand the developmental milestones of children and inculcating the basic mindset BEFORE we even introduce the tool. Or else, what would happen would be similiar to how training was conducted before which was a dismal failure and looking at how our teacher-colleague is faring despite 'practising' with several children, he still have so much difficulties grasping the rational and concepts to use the tool effectively.

What was shocking after this particular sharing was that when later we moved on to the HOD's room to have the formal discussion, before i could even sit down properly, one of them launch straight into 'what we have to do'. It was apparent that the HOD had shared our 'views' and they have decided to launch right into correcting what was perceived to be 'idealistic' and perhaps 'wrong' views which we have. I never had to defend my stand so hard in my working life before and to have my views devalued just because we have not actively tried out the tool seems to justify their superiority in the matter. Frankly, i don't buy that. In fact, we have a certain advantage in keeping our minds open about this tool while i felt they have lost all objectivity because they are on the platform that this tool is THE way to go. It was also quite apparent that despite their 'practises', none of the experiences helped them today while we went through the test because they weren't able to score the items accurately nor were they well-versed in the developmental levels themselves. In fact, their idea of it needed to be corrected several time during the training when they showed themselves to understand it superficially and even inaccurately (e.g. taking out the items in parts when it should be targetted to be completed in full).

I am close to losing my respect for them because while i acknowledge my lack of experience and is willing to learn, i am not willing to suffer an attack from people who professed to know more when actually they did not know qualitatively more than i do.  It was actually better to start the right way than the wrong way and having to correct yourself out of all the bad habits you formed. THAT is what have to be avoided when we enskill others!

It is very infuriating and despite the discussion coming to a close, nothing is resolved. I am a fairly expressive person but i am also introverted. Hence all this defending is extremely draining for me. Suddenly, i really feel like going home... sigh.

Perhaps things would improve.. but i highly doubt it, especially when it is clear to me that we are not 'valued' on the same platform as others along this trip and is perceived as being idealistic and 'didn't know better'.

I have a sudden urge to kick something or bite someone.

Day 4

Weather has been great today. Lots of sunshine and it actually started to feel like summer. Today we started training at the Wilmington TEACCH Centre, where we will spend the next 4 days before going to Chapel Hill for the next round of training. We arrived at the centre, which was 5 minutes drive from the hotel at 8.45am. After a round of introduction to the staff there and having a bit of chit-chat about ourselves, we started training proper with the introduction of PEP-R, which is the assessment tool we will devote ourselves to for the rest of the week.

A lot of this would probably make no sense to most but i thought for my own clarity, i would just list down some of the things i learnt and have concerns about here. My platform of understanding this tool as a psychologist is definitely quite different from my colleague who is a teacher, and i can appreciate his difficulties. Some of us came with the expectation of using this tool back home while i came with reserved judgement in using this tool. Rather, i wanted to see how this tool is before i decide if it could be implemented effectively. In this way, there began a slight diversion in views amongst the trainees. For them, they need to see, by hook or by crook, how to fit the tool in while, for me, there is not such complusion.

However, the training is very helpful in terms of understanding how to teach a ASD child effectively and the underlying importance for teachers to have an understanding of normal developmental levels for children in the different domains. I feel that the key would be to inculcate a new "mindset" in everyone involve with the child to think of what is developmentally appropriate for each child and when looking through the curriculum, constantly refer back to that RATHER than expecting that a new 'assessment' tool which help in setting educational goals to perform the miracle of doing that for the teachers. If different psychologists already have difficulties having a same platform, i can foresee what problems teachers would have if the  rational and the process of using the tool is not imparted correctly. Since our objective in coming here for training is to think of a better way to help teachers understand and set developmentally appropriate goals, i feel then just solely depending on the PEP-R would hardly meet this objective when what we are missing is really a whole generation of RC teachers who does not even have the fundamentals of understanding appropriate development levels.

Was just discussing it with my boss and another colleague about this and i think i am already having some problems conveying my views to my boss while my colleague who works closely with me agrees with my view. Anyway, we will have to continue the discussion later after we rested a bit. It has been quite tiring though it wouldn't seem like a very long training when we started at 9 and ended at 3.30pm. But it was refreshing and i am glad how much thoughts and ideas this training have brought forth in me after only ONE day of training! The trainers were fantastic and helpful and i really glad to be able to participate in it and give me more clarity in what i do.

Quite exciting actually and all i want to do now is to plunge back into the discussion and forget about dinner.

On a more entertaining note, we found out today that Wilmington gets hurricane fairly often, especially during the months of June till November. Looks like we better keep our ears out for hurricane warnings. Fingers crossed.

26/07/04 5.16pm

View Photos (warning: mostly work related photos)

Early morning and i am missing...

my mm..
my morning black coffee..
the cat..
my bolster (yikes)..
the girls..
the food..
my "sole amusement" colleague..
my car..
my privacy..

sigh

Day 3

Day 3: Wilmington, NC

The weather appeared pretty gloomy this morning. The skies were overcast and it looked like it had rained during the night. Over the breakfast table provided by the hotel(nothing but bread and more bread, different breads... bagel, french toast, raisin, etc etc) the weather information indicated that it would be a week of thunderstorms ahead. Things don't look good weatherwise at least. Personally, i had no agenda for today and yet, i did feel a certain amount of trepidation letting my fellow colleagues plan the the itinerary. Being the CDO (i.e. chief driving officer), my primary duty was to get everyone where they want to go without accident, whose service, i am sure, others have no complains about. We started with Wrightville beach which was across town 15mins drive away because we thought it would be wiser to go there before the 'thunderstorm' hits town. Lucky for us, it never did rain the whole day and the weather remained balmy, even a tad warm during the late afternoon.

Wrightville beach seems like a coastal summer resort for people in NC. There were a lot of motels and private summer cottages along the coast with their own little private launch for motorboats. There were plenty of surfers, though the surf wasn't too fantastic, and families enjoying a bit of sand and sea. Some of the interesting things there were beach toilet stalls without doors (made a friend through the communal *ermm* 'relieving' session) and a doggie poop station (where people can get free poop bag) dedicated to billie holiday and her dog. Charming...

After the beach, we drove to the historic downtown at the riverfront where we walked around and explored some of the little shops. Nothing memorable but there was a WWII battleship anchored across the river which one of my colleague visited (guess shopping isn't quite his thing). Had lunch in one of the darkest cafe i have ever been to (in the bright afternoon). Food here, i realize, tend to be quite salty. I think i would have to ask them to cut back on the salt the next time i order. After lunch, the 4 of the ladies (minus the sole gentleman onboard the battleship) drove off to Westfield Mall at independence drive a short 8 minutes drive away.

At this juncture, i think i ought to state quite clearly that i am not much of a shopper and actually have a mild aversion to wandering around a big mall "shopping" most of the time unless i know that i wanted to buy something. Hence, it was more tedious than pleasurable to follow 3 ladies around a mall for two hours. Actually, it wasn't just the mall... i think there must be something quite wrong with me because i realize i just don't really enjoy being in a group in general and most of the time rather preferred to walk on ahead on my own. Anyway, despite myself, i did ended up getting a shirt for myself (only because it was 50% off and i needed something formal to wear for work) and some stuff for friends. After two hours and covering only 1/4 of the mall, we had to drive back to pick up the gentleman away from his battleship and proceed to wal-mart at market street. By this time, i am tired and bored, and it was pure torture trying to occupy myself for a solid hour while waiting for the rest of them to finish shopping.

Some of the things others bought: toiletries, bath towels, toys, cosmetics, cherries, medication.

Some stuff i can understand but a bottle of hair conditioner just because it is S$3 cheaper here? And 4 bath towels??? What is the rationale? Maybe it is me... but i just cannot understand why would one buy bags of unnecessary items (not small somemore) so early on in the trip and knowing that we have to travel around quite abit. But then, i am not exactly a bargain shopper either.

Dinner was back at the historic downtown again at a little corner bar overlooking the river. Salty clam chower and chicken sandwich. Yawns. Returned back to the hotel by 8pm and helped 3 of the colleagues move from their original room (too small for 3 since there were only 2 small double beds and hardly space for a rollaway bed) to a slightly larger suite with 2 double beds and 1 pull out sofa bed. On top of that, was also trying to fix my HOD's laptop because for some reason, it would not connect to the network using the LAN cable. So much for being the CTO (i.e. chief technical officer) for this trip. I suspect that there is something wrong with the LAN port because the cable worked on my computer. Ah well. At least i get to have the internet in my room which i shared with Eliz.

Finally the end of another day and tomorrow we start training officially. Yippee. Can hardly wait.

View Photos

Day 1 & 2

Having free internet access in the hotel probably means i get to update my blog on my 'travels' *ahem ahem* aka business trip daily.

Dats wunderful.

No more having to ink out my thoughts on the ipaq (though useful, is still slower than typing on the keyboard by a mile).

Anyway, here's my life away, thus far, in "brief" *cough cough*...

Day 1: Flight SQ22 from Spore to New York at 12.05pm Changi T2 & Newark, NY

Big boss and Great Big Boss and the two small vice-bosses came to send us off at the airport on friday. I actually wanted to check in my stuff early so that i can go into the transit lounge to get myself some sushi and hang around abit. Unfortunately, with the various bosses around, it meant we have to hang around outside to 'entertain' the folks. Ah well. Managed to board the plan just in time.

Flight, as always, is still too long. Despite it being a direct flight, it is nonetheless still 18hours. The slightly extended leg room and various little improvements, no doubt made the trip slightly more comfortable, but a long-haul flight is still a LONG-haul flight. The so-call bar/lounge on the plane was over-hyped, being nothing more than a standing corridor barely enough for more than 6 people. In fact, numbers were strictly controlled by the stewardess, perhaps fearing that having too many people standing there would crash the plane. In any case, the 'lounge' was only good for the occasional leg-stretching and snack-stealing.

The highlights of the flight were: finally watching hellboy, meeting a cute 22mth old girl who taught us how to do 'yoga' and perhaps, the free-flow tomato juice.

Reached Newark, NY at precisely 6.30pm (NY time) on friday (surreal, all these time-zone thingies). However, it was until almost 1 hour later that we were let off the plane. On top of that, the caterpillar queues and the no-nonsense custom protocols. However, things did proceeded smoothly, though a tad slow. We only managed to clear customs at around 8.25pm, after which, it was a short walk to the marriot hotel across the airport where we would stay during the overnight transit before we flew off to North Carolina the next day. Couple things i wanted to say about the Marriot at Newark Internation airport. The place SUCKS. The people were lifeless and the food was way too salty! That's about it.

The weather in NY was rather miserable. Lots of rain and it felt quite humid. Visibility was also low. It was only in the early morning that we caught sight of the skyscrapers along the horizon.  Took a shuttle to the domestic terminal early saturday morning. More queues but finally get to enjoy a fairly decent breakfast in the food court inside the airport. Still not exactly used to the fact that we have to tip every minute but i think i am getting the hang of it.

Day 2: Raleigh-Durham to Wilmingtonm, North Carolina

Reached Raleigh-Durham, NC at 1pm saturday afternoon. Immediately proceeded to the car rental company to pick the car for the 3hour drive to Wilmington, which was along the coast. We got a jeep cherokee (sp??) which was fairly decent for the price we paid. It was roomy and fitted in all the 7 luggage bags nicely (don't look at me... i didn't over pack). In any case, i drove (no, i am not going to get a speeding ticket here. Not when my HOD is sitting behind me) and managed the whole journey in 2 1/4hr. Unfortunately, it took just that amount of time as well (Hmm give and take a couple of minutes) to find the hotel. It was 16th st then 6th st, then back to market st and finally back to 16th street again. Super long irritating story which i would not like to repeat for the sake of my own sanity. I just have this to say... i will never complain about wilk as my travel partner again.

By the time we settled into the Hampton Inn (medical centre) hotel (would you believe that there are 3 hampton inns in wilmington alone?!), it was already 4.30pm. The hotel is much better than marriot by a long mile, and i am not saying just because there is free internet access! Really! It is just that the service is better, the rooms bigger and the people! They actually smile and go out of their way to make us feel better, even refusing our tip!!! What can i say? Small towns are nice in that way compare to big cities.

Dinner today was unfortunately marred by the fact that we had to wait an hour for a table. There was 5 of us and there wasn't much 'big' tables. In any case, the food was nice but for the waiting? I think i will pass the next time, or call for reservations before hand.

Finally, the end of the day, and the end of this blog entry. I have showered and my head is giddy. Probably still trying to shake off the feeling of being jetlagged. Guess i will try to write something tomorrow. But looking at the town (the size of it) and what limited choice there is to offer here, i think it may be a fairly short post tomorrow.

24/05/04 10.36pm

View Photos

Up, Up and Away!

Ah well...
Hopefully don't crash.

 

Equation

WS + R2C - (Ro + D) x FuAS = E2M

i.e. : Will Smith + Really Cool Robots - (ROmance + Drama) x FUturistic Action Sequence = Entirely Entertaining Movie

Things that makes me go Hmm...

A brand's chicken essence perched precariously on top of the green railing on the road divider...

A left shoe lying forlornly on the extreme right lane of the ECP missing its partner...

A scrawny white man in full athletic gear skiing down thomson road with his roller-blades and two ski pole...

A pensive you looking at me eat "la mian" wondering what is going on in my mind...

Gone with the...

Days whizzed by and I seemed to remember a couple of would-be blog-worthy rants except that they whizzed by pretty quickly as well. I think I have been reduced to just making one-liners for significant events in my life these days because I just cannot give enough time to even put together more thoughts to pen down.
 
Example:
 
"6th year anniversary dinner was great. Thank you!"
 
"Happy to meet babes up for dinner again."
 
"D&D program done!"
 
"Design for poster done! Thanks to him!"
 
"I can't wait for the Vintage-parade themed D&D!"
 
"So tired. So much things to pack for training."
 
"Finally finished packing at 3am last night."
 
"I miss gym. *sulk*"
 
I have been reduced to a think-a-minute bouncing, jumping, smiling, whirring mannequin.
 
Ah well.

  
 

Crazy

It has been a crazy crazy week... weeks even.
Not bad crazy.
Just plain crazy.
The kind of days when you have to be thinking/doing 4 different things every single second.
Every single nanosecond even.
But.
Things are okie.
I ride the waves and had a couple of waves washed over me but it's no big deal.
I am cool with that.
It just that, i really don't have much time for much else.
Not friends.
Not leisure.
Not gym.
Not myself.
Occasionally, Not Him.
But that's okie too.
There would be days like that and we can go kick ass in the real world for a spin and then sink back into each other's comfortable embrace again.
Which would happen in another couple of weeks time i'll imagine.
In the meantime, the surf's a-calling and my butt is itching to get out there and DO something.
Still doing something.
Accomplishing.
Fulfilling.
All i need to do.
Want to do.
Can do.
It's crazy but its hell of a ride.

It's all in the eyes

For you, I hope happiness is here to stay.
It's never too late to start anew.
So I just want to say...
I am really, really happy for you.

*wink at snow*
*hugz*
:)

Zombified

Watched a private screening of Zombie Dog last saturday at P10, though the price was a tad bit steep ($10) but the experience more than made up for it. It is no doubt, one of the most 'interesting' film experience I've ever gone through. To be frank, the film itself, is nothing short of being 'weird' and not what I would call the 'greatest' Singapore film ever made. However the perpetuator aka director himself who was present at the screening, the eccentric oddball Mr Toh, must be the star attraction of this endeavor. We had a couple of run-ins with him for the last couple of years, usually during film festivals and during a period of time when wilk was dabbling with films. I still cannot forget his proposal of getting girls to strip free for him (and willingly) in hotels while he shoot them (with a camera, i hope). I am pleased he actually included that into Zombie Dogs though. I am also constantly amazed at his ability to talk, seemingly forever, without much awareness of his audience usually. As for the film, i find it difficult to draw the line between the 'art' and the 'reality'. Even the metaphor of the Zombie Dog, seemingly so cryptically abstract and coming from the film, honestly earthy and simple. Just like the man, who seemed to live in a reality a notch 'off' from everyone elses' and yet, uncomfortably real and common. I think i came out of the experience a little befuddle, bewildered than perhaps, be-lighted.

Happy...

6th year anniversary, my dear.

Could it be...

... that you have forgotten about friday?

*sniff*

Another wedding...

Over the last weekend,attended the wedding of an old friend whom i have not seen in ages, not since i have graduated anyway. It was initially quite awkward to be in a social situation where you sort of recognize everyone and yet, not that close to anyone. In fact, the person who i was most familiar with at the dinner was probably my ex boyfriend, and perhaps part of the awkwardness also came because i knew these bunch of friends through him. I guess, if we never had a relationship, i wouldn't have known these people (groom included) and most certainly would not have been invited to the wedding. But i had always enjoyed hanging around these lovely people back in the university days and going for guotie and dimsum. So it really was nice to catch up with friends like janet, colin, ryo and ivan again despite not knowing some others all that well.

Anyway, will be looking forward to your house-warming soon, j jie. :)

Brain Drain

I woke up this morning and forgot what is it that i do for a living. Some days, the clarity just isn't there and it is awfully frustrating when i cannot articulate what exactly it is that i am feeling. I am not even sure i am feeling what it is i am feeling. I hate confusion. I hate not-knowing. I hate ambiguity.

I think i need to go back for English classes.

Random thoughts...

... i wonder how is youngest bro's CV coming along...
... too many things to do... too many things to do...
... must go to chinatown to look at posters soon...
... what gifts to buy for those trainers in NC...
... i feel like going to the gym...
... the new psychologist seems promising...
... my new ipaq can surf the web...
... sometimes there is not such thing as good or bad parenting...
... must prepare my 'to-pack' list soon...
... weekend is coming...
... i wonder what mm is doing now...
... i am getting sick of bananas...
... too many things to do... panic panic...
... sometimes parents don't have to be there for you to feel their presence...
... same things with brothers and loved ones...
... i wonder what's going to happen in the next episode of gundamW...
... will talking to someone really help if...
... quite enjoyed spiderman...
... hMmm... muscles...
... stupid cat...
... sigh...